To shelter or not to shelter, that is the question

About this Blog

A much torn debate in the current world of parenting is the idea that we need to protect our children from harm.

The question should be "what is harm"? Well, dictionary.com states that harm is physical injury or mental damage.

So to protect our children from harm, we need to shield them from both physical and mental damage. Now often Western society likes to think they force their children to be independent from birth. To sleep on their own, to be left to play on their own and often to be taught on their own. That is, until they get a little older... the caring parent (excluding the non-caring) often will then withdraw all harm from the child's path. Won't let them feed themselves, won't let them climb a tree, won't let them play with sticks and certainly not do anything with tools! That's for adults.

Now that sounds all well and good doesn't it? Well no actually it sounds terrible. For one how is wrapping them up like that going to teach them how to do be independent? Lets think about this. If your child is left to feed themselves, surely that's independence? If your child is taught how to climb their stairs, surely that's protecting them from falling down the stairs? I could go on, but that would bore you so lets summarise.

To protect a child from harm you teach the child, not prevent their learning. Well that's easy enough right? the Hippy and the Geek both agree on this! Not a good start for a conflicting blog you say? Well that's where you're wrong. The implementation from the two sides are very different.

1. The Hippy would allow the Older Child to have a real tool set in their bedroom. The Geek would only let them use it under supervision until they think the Older Child is able.

2. The Hippy lets the Older Child have complete freedom of the house, including access to medicine, power tools and anything else. The Geek feels that realistic that's unrealistic and that some boundaries need to be set as even thought the Older Child might be knowledgeable enough to be trusted, they might forget to protect the Younger Child who is still unfortunately unable to grasp the knowledge needed to be safe.

3. The Hippy will let the children eat what and when they want. The Geek thinks that waste is sinful and thinks that the children should not be offered an alternative but instead the parents should remember the preference for the future.

You might not think these differences amount to much, but I assure you they do. Not a day goes by where the Geek removes a "toy" from the children's collection which has been used dangerously too many times. Who thinks the home carer Hippy isn't supervising the dangerous equipment enough. The Hippy fights back with "how would you like it if something you like is removed?" Which to the Geek is illogical since the thing the Geek loves isn't being used harmfully against the Younger Child. Other times the Geek resorts to "time outs" where they separate the children in different rooms or removes the toy which is causing the argument. This is "unacceptable" apparently but no alternative way of parenting is ever offered, only rules of what you can't do.


Karma tip of the day:

For the Hippies out there; you must understand the Geek needs logic, needs a foundation to work from. You may remove the Geeks parenting abilities and rebuild but don't forget to rebuild. You'll leave the Geek feeling unable to cope and you'll find the Geek will become distant from the family and I don't think you want that. Remember also that most often the Hippy isn't the working parent and if this is so for you, understand the Geek isn't there all day every day like you and misses out on a lot of the little things.

For the Geeks out there; you must not let the Hippy unjustifiably prevent you from being the parent you want to be. There must be a middle ground else you'll find your own personality crushed. This will lead to a very bad outcome and the Hippy will most likely not know they've done this.

Enough ranting for today, I'd like to hear others opinions on this matter though.

Younger Child

The Younger Child in this story is very independent child willing to defend themselves even against the Older Child. The Younger Child is kind and gentle but firm and demanding, as they grow, they are realising that bullying is an easy way to get what they want. Lets hope the Hippy and the Geek can show the Younger Child why we enjoy being nice to others and how bullying isn't the way to go.

I'll let you be the judge of what this person truly is like.

Older Child

The Older Child in this story is a strong willed person much like the Geek, with a lot of bubbly energy and frustration at the inconsistent, ever conflicting parenting of the Hippy and the Geek. The Older Child is easy to love and easy to be frustrated with, does things when they want to and only when they want to, they do not conform to society's expectations of a "sit still" child.

I'll let you be the judge of what this person truly is like.

The Blog

This blogs intention is to be an insight and hopeful release for the other side of the much debated coin of Natural Parenting.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about let me explain: A Natural Parent is someone who often is an extremest in most senses of the word. They want to eat raw food, get rid of T.V. and computers, throw away medicine and go "herbal". They often go against the grain of society when they can, not always in line with what is sensible but always idealist. They often force their partners to follow suit and can cause a lot of arguments inside the home when both aren't fully on board.

This is for people in this situation, both sides to see a fresh angle. To see what pain the Hippy often puts the Geek through and the other way round. The struggles they have.. and their solutions.

I'm refraining on putting genders to the Hippy and the Geek so you will not put the labels of gender on either one. As far as you're concerned they can be either gender and I'll try my best to only write about things which doesn't reveal this, sometimes important detail.

Each blog will end with a "Karma tip of the day" which will summarise how each party is feeling and hopefully how to help both get along better, break the ice and communicate.

So sit back and enjoy the ride, it will be full of arguments, debates, paddies and cute kids.

This is the Hippy and the Geek.

P.s: please note the Hippy is not meant as an offence the same way the Geek is not. It's just two often contrasting ways of life, naturalist and technologist.

The Geek

The Geek in this story is a strong willed person, with good intentions that wants the best for their children. A modern thinker in most senses but with standards to be envious of.

I'll let you be the judge of what this person truly is like.

The Hippy

The Hippy in this story is a lovely person, with good intentions that wants the best for their children. An extremist in most senses but with a drive to be envious of.

I'll let you be the judge of what this person truly is like.